
CAPTURE THE FERAL WOLF CHILD: The myth tells of the elite rulers of the fallen tribes who took refuge at the top of the earth. They defined a land to manifest and control; the ELESIAN lands where they now live immortal with their great libraries of seeds and rare beasts, the secret technologies of old tribes, engines that pull their fuel from the space between air, ships that break clouds across their bows and floating gardens of exotic forms and brightest colors. Though these lands have remained hidden from us we know that they are reachable only by way of the GREAT NORTHERN PASSAGE, a place of legend guarded by the floating fortress city of THE TOWN OF BARRIER. We seek the hair covered Wolfchild Vadim Kazimir Putin, the last living progeny of the oligarch lord of the RussAsian Empire Vladimir Putin. Once shaved the Wolfchild will reveal an encrypted map burned into its flocculent flesh. A map to the ELESIAN lands. Agents have devised a trap to lure the wolf child's yacht to MAU MAU ISLAND with a swivel mounted directional, trashy tech-trance beacon, a trail of limited addition Vibram five finger Toe-shoes, and vanilla E-cigarettes which have been banned in the ELESIAN lands. HES A SLIPPERY FUCK SO WATCH OUT! BUT HIS CAPTOR WILL BE AWARDED FABULOUS PRIZES AND GRAND ACCOLADES.
THE MYTH OF BARRIOR
I will now recount to you the myth, or legend of the town of Barrior, as I have come to know it. Many thanks to the monks and other helpful staff at the Barrior Myth Institute of Sikkim. There are many versions, though I feel this telling best represents the important aspects and common themes of them all. This telling is also secular and the most easy to corroborate with fact. It is a story that once heard, one really wants, even needs to believe is true. That intense desire for it to be true makes of course a very dubious grounds for its plausibility. Perhaps it is merely a cultural necessity, a kind of colloquial creation story and prophecy rolled into one. As a scholar it is not my place to confirm or disconfirm the tales validity, though I, like anyone wish for it to be true. Some of the language may seem archaic as many passages are directly transcribed from the Man Pelt Manuscripts.
Pelt 1: Chapter 1, The testimony of Arson Internsdaughter Laborer-
The NOTHING. There was a time before the NOTHING, but that was a long, long time ago. The NOTHING was as powerful in the time of the opening of the Great Northern Passage as it is today. The NOTHING is integral to that event, the NOTHING was both the cause and the means for that opening and the way by which its location is now obscured to those outside. The NOTHING shall have dominion over this earth from this time, until this time again.
In those times such places were commonly witnessed, scattered about the lands and seas. These prospering lands were protected, called then Greenzone. Those that were the benefactors of the progress of the banality (the NOTHING) consumed these lands and manifested them. The creatures that made up the means for the manifestation of Greenzone were placed outside of it, to struggle to make life in the Redzone. In the event that those outside, in Redzone made life there and there prospered, those possibilities would be absorbed into the walls of Greenzone and those creatures therein expelled to the Redzone once more. Greenzone is contained, though movable outwards. Its barrior, one of brick and mortar and of light and fields and of the warrior classes that made dominion of, and prospered within the barrior itself. Those dwelling in Redzone would on occasion pass through the barrior and observe the happenings there within, on the occasion of maintenance of plants and structures and thoroughfares. Persons within Greenzone were "grand in appearance, fair, long in hight, their motions calm, gentle, their fragrance pleasing".
Arson Internsdaughter Laborer tells of his labours and pleasures within Greenzone
The perfections therein Greenzone are seamless and continuous. There is no place unconsidered or unmaintained. I was traveled there for the maintenance of the thoroughfares but was seen to have skill in the maintenance of plants and was so inducted into the gardens. The floating gardens are rich in forms and beasts and colors of the previous time, but heightened yet, grander and perfected. The beasts were conceived in the older times as predators but are now gentled and move freely within the garden. No such beasts are found in Redzone to compare in form. The people of Greenzone would on occasion travel on the backs of such beasts for pleasure. The women of greenzone are the most fair and slender, their forms perfected and without age or damage. Their eyes blue and green, fiery lakes with depth and color, with wisdom behind. Their breasts are round and fit in the palm as a warm bread bun. Many bright and perfected structures are found there, tall and constructed of clear glass and made as temples to MAMMON who favours those who know him and poses his magic for conceiving and moving the currencies. The currencies are not a concern to those in Greenzone as life springs from all places and exchange is not necessary. The currencies appear only in exchange between those of Greenzone and Redzone and the currencies then evaporate and return to their creators. Even if contained within a steel box, the currencies will return to MAMMON. The pleasures of the benefactors of the NOTHING cannot be understood, their pleasures so subtle and refined that they make no sense to me. The foods indiscernible in their constitution, formed of unknown things, they appear as the manifesting of pure thought. The flavours of these foods I had known once in the home of a woman I knowed and layed with therein. These flavours have no flavours to compare in Redzone. No thing is unknown to the beneficiaries of the NOTHING. All is known by all, at all times and they move the weather and move the earth with ease and no thing is beyond the command of them. They posess the knowledge for creations of the fallen tribes, their engines pull their fuel from the space between air and make great work with ease, bending light into solid and shifting solid mater as liquid with sound.
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The NOTHING would increase its dominion. The NOTHING would raise the currency there so as one could not make life there for need of the currencies, and the Greenzone it would then become. The currencies return always to Greenzone through the sorcery of their minting house. They return and cannot be held within Redzone for any time. There was then one day where there were no currencies within Redzone, as there was no longer the need for exchange. No objects were in surplus and no objects would pass between person and person except by force. The desires of Greenzone then could know no boundary and are insatiable. They take anything we could form or posses if they had use for it or not, if only to deny us of it and to make our struggles more immediate. We were all but wiped from the earth, when no need for maintenances therewithin Greenzone were needed, and our dispensed of this earth seemed sure. But then factors came. The lands and seas changed and those within Greenzone were not impervious to their effects. Though these changes hurt us much more then they, we rejoiced to see their struggles as well.
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Pelt 5: Chapter 4, The testimony of Zack Cashmoney ThoroughfairLaborer-
Despite their power, Greenzone would spread as it could, though the Redzone can as well spread, and did, and consumed Greenzones, as Greenzones once consumed them. Soon Greenzone could be found scarcer and scarcer and migrated upward on the earth to follow the fair weather. The people within Greenzone are always with plans, many people endeavor therin Greenzone making plans and more plans such that an option is always present. In redzone plans are not formed and there is always struggle. Struggle was found in both zones then and a plan was chosen and enacted by those people of Greenzone. A final migration to a place at the top of the earth by way of the Great Northern Passage. (This "Great Northern Passage" is considered by many to refer to a channel opened up through a great sheet of ice that once stood there, and by less conservative elements as an opening in the top of the earth into a hollow interior) The place of the Great Northern Passage is known only to those people of Greenzone and the means to find and open it, known to them as well. If you saw this place, you would not know it is what you see, as it is made hidden by fields and distortions of the light and air.
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PARTS OF THESE TEXTS ARE CONSIDERED TO BE MUCH NEWER THEN THE PROCEEDING AND WERE LIKELY WRITTEN MANY HUNDREDS OF ROTATIONS AFTER THE DESCRIBED EVENTS ARE MEANT TO HAVE TAKEN PLACE. THE TONE AND LANGUAGE USED IS AT TIMES LESS ARCHAIC, OR IS WRITTEN TO APPEAR ARCHAIC.
The people of Greenzone departed and we rejoiced to inherit the Greenzone lands. Therein though we found very little. The people of Greenzone left no things of use for us to possess. And they left for us therein a trap of diseases to wipe us from the earth so as not to follow. Many waters then came as the NOTHING once did and consumed many lands, and boats were conceived to make travel. The people of Greenzone were then not seen again but on rare occasion to take women and to make murder for pleasure. Vladimir Putin, oligarch of Greenzone RussAsia, now migrated, bore sons who in turn bore sons and sons, and now of these sons Vadim Kazamir Putin brings great struggles to us. He will appear without warning in the night time and mornings early within sounds of strange music of pulsing deep heart beat. He appears in strange dress of shiny materials unknown to us and breaths fire from a small metal cylinder that is scented with sweet vanilla. The toes of his shoes are separated and his adornments are often empowered with words of the old tribes ADIDAS and other word sigils give him unchallengable strength. His face and body are covered in a thick and perfectly manicured fur of an expensive dog. His boat appears red, bright like a thousand fires and the beating music arises loudly without instruments. His gestures are fluid and many women imagine to lay with him. His head moves as the music does, giving him great powers and coverings of colored glass before his eyes can see the weakness in the hearts of our warriors with the power sigil PRADA.
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Pelt 25: Chapter 6, "A New Hope" The testimony of Lexus Housewasher-
And the young girl spoke of her abduction by the wolf boy Kazamir Putin. The interior of his boat was made from strange materials, like white skin but soft and furs of grand colors like light through an evening cloud. I could not understand his words but his voice is mellifluous and I succumbed to him without struggle. He drank illuminated sweet spirits of complex flavor from a strange cone like glass. Inside was the small umbrella of a mouse. As I was layed with him in his boat chamber in the morning, the light of the sun came through a heart shaped window and revealed the flesh beneath his fur. Thereon him was imprinted an image of how the lands and seas would appear to a bird. And therein this image I saw a channel. He boasted of it to me as he woke and told me it was burned there when he became a man. This image is an instruction to gain passage to the ELESIAN lands at the top of the earth. The instruction contained many unfamiliar signs and markings; circles, triangles, word sigils. I asked why he would tell me of such things as I am of the Redzone. He then told of a great and formidable fortress that protects those lands that no waif of the out lands could imagine, a floating bridge fortress of great power and opulence. Golden cannons, haters gonna hate, lobsters on my plate.
THE TEXTS BECOME SOMEWHAT WHIMSICAL AND MEANINGLESS AFTER THIS, KNOWN AS THE SONG OF THE WOLF BOY, IT CONTAINS LITTLE INFORMATION AND I WILL OMIT IT, THOUGH MANY BELIEVE IT TO CONTAIN CODED MEANINGS. AS FOR ACCOUNTS OF THE APPEARANCE AND NATURE OF THE TOWN OF BARRIOR THERE ARE MANY CONFLICTS AND CONTRADICTIONS. IT HAS BEEN THE SUBJECT OF MANY GREAT WORKS OF ART AND POETRY. I WILL FOR THE SAKE OF BREVITY TRANSCRIBE ONLY THOSE CHARACTERISTICS THAT APPEAR CONSISTENTLY AMONG THE VARIOUS TEXTS.
Excerpts from field recordings and the translated, revised Book of Purpose (the Man Pelt Manuscripts). Final Pelt: Chapter 8, The Testament of Gaius Cagemaker-
The Great Northern Passage is very wide. The boats of Greenzone were of great length and width. Some could contain and dispense many flying machines that scorch the ground. The wolf child Kazamir Putin spoke of the great fortress that awaits you at the gates of the ELESIAN lands. The waters there are calm and still and reflect like glass the rich hues of the articulated sky of the ELESIAN lands. Many maidens of choicest shape await you there in the ELESIAN lands. Many eight legged fish and lobsters abound on every plate there in the ELESIAN lands. But first great perils and fierce adversaries await you there in the ELESIAN lands. The town of Barrior stretches as far as one can see and fills the channel, though it is wide, from shore to shore without break. It appears as a grand city of the old gods towering and bright but with great strength of walls incorruptible by men unknown to the ELESIAN lands. Each wall and tower taller and stronger then that before. When the warriors approach, unleashed from within its walls the effects of strange weapons appear and lay waste to those warriors. "I think when she spoke of the Elisian lands she would make a lot of it up, just things she dreamed up, or that she thought I would like. She always made it sound so peaceful. But first she would tell me about the town of Barrior and this she would describe the same way each time as if it were written on the wall. She would describe it in some detail and she would tell me that I would have to be very very quiet to sneak through the walls. She'd do that to try to get me to fall asleep, but I never would. The town of Barrior is made up of all ancient military ships but the town has grown so much upon them that they can not be clearly defined one to the next. The Barrior contains a whole civilization, that is made up of the warrior classes. The warrior class is not quite the Greenzone but is certainly not the Redzone, and they are all quite pleased with their position in this world. Being a Barrior around Greenzone and protecting it makes them on the whole quite powerful and wealthy on their own, more so sometimes, even then the Greenzone itself. The ships together make up a floating bridge that spans the passage and it looks as though it were a huge city all lit up, reflecting on the water and full of life. Anytime people tell about the ELESIAN lands these places are always made up of clean, slick material, all white and gold and deep blues, strong defined shapes, sharp edges. No thing is left to chance or incomplete there, all things are a result of great thought and planning. What I think Barrior looks like, is as if there was a powerful, wealthy god of war who died and went to the ELESIAN lands and whatever came into his mind would be made real before him, and he made for himself the grandest palace of war upon the sea. Ornate weapons adorn its towers, warriors in clean fitting white uniforms walk its parapets. A gate has no rolling hills or forests or seas, it is not one place or the other, but between the right places at right time a gate can be more powerful then any place. Gaius Cagemaker was the only person clever enough to ever escape the town of Barrior, I never really understood why he would want to leave the ELESIAN lands but he did, and he was the only one. He snuck out while the town was having a huge celebration and the tower guards were drunk. Some say he and the Kazimanian Devil, the wolf boy are the same, I don't know. My mother would ham this up saying, he's out there lurking around and he knows if you are pretending to sleep. You will smell the vanilla and hear his Crocs squeaking on the floor and by the time you hear the thumping music it will be to late.
Many scholars would recoil at the idea of including transcript from field recordings, though emerging academics will now argue that these oral traditions are more accurate and less corrupted then the common written ones. As for contemporary sightings of the wolf boy Kazimir or the "Kazimanian Devil," I can not speak of the validity. It has reached mythical proportions that border on the absurd. Any time a vanilla E- cigarette or a pair of Crocs are found the wolf boy is assumed the culprit, however no verifiable or physical evidence of Kazamir has been seen in over seventy rotations. The famous "Wallmart parking lot" photo stood for almost a decade as undeniable proof until recently the photographer and friend admit to staging it, by holding up a matted and mangy dog they had found, on which they had placed the pink fedora.
There is some debate as to what "the NOTHING" refers. In some cases it seems to refer to rising costs that make areas unlivable and then in other cases can refer to a spreading decline in the natural environment. These are in some ways comparable forces. This may be a result of the modern text being compiled from texts written during very different historical periods.