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  • Home
  • About
  • Contact
  • Register upcoming event
  • ART SALON / shop
  • Past Events
  • CONTRIBUTE Art Salon
  • THE brunch FOR MAU MAU ISLAND
  • 2019 The Multi-oceanic Association of Unified Micro-nations and Autonomous Utopias
  • 2018 SUBOPTIMAL
  • 2017 chronostasis
  • 2016 The gate of Agartha
  • 2015 THE MARITIME ACADEMY FOR ULTIMATE MARINE ARTS UNLIMITED
  • 2014 THE RETURN TO MAU MAU ISLAND
  • 2013 MAU MAU ISLAND IS CANCELLED
  • 2012 THE 100 BOATS OF BATTLE ATOLL
  • 2011 THE BATTLE FOR MAU MAU ISLAND
  • DIY watercraft resource page
  • GANG profiles
  • volunteer
  • THE ALBATROSS
THE BATTLE FOR MAU MAU ISLAND

TO PARTICIPATE AND RECEIVE EVENT DETAILS VIA EMAIL, ALL PARTICIPANTS MUST SUBMIT THE FORM AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS PAGE

september 11 12 13

A   BAD  THING  NEVER  DIES
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Lease "THE BATTLE FOR MAU MAU ISLAND" from April 15 to october 1 2020

Amazing business opportunity. Earn money from home. Make valuable connections in your field. Impress friends and loved ones. Make healthier life choices the Mau Mau way. Isn't it time to get in on the action of seasonal watersports. With rising sea levels, aquatic and seaside activities are more popular and lucrative than ever. Anyone who can't see the potential in that is clearly, well, all wet. 

Serious inquiries only. Do not contact us with solicitations. Our friendly licensed broker is available by text or email 24 hours a day. 

Lease agreement includes the temporary licensing of the name "The Battle for Mau Mau Island" usage of and limited rights to alter The Battle for Mau Mau Island website. Usage of 2 pugil fighting platforms. 2 pugil fighting sticks. The rights to the physical object and image of The Battle for Mau Mau Island "Best In Show" trophy. Assistance in brokering land usage for event. Use of all invite mailing lists associated with the brand for brand-related use. The use of 12 cubic hectares of brackish bay water depending on the position of the earth's moon. Lease includes 3 free 1 hour consultancy phone calls with our Mau Mau specialist. Further conversations to be brokered with our agent at that agents discretion. Our agent is not liable for legal action taken against the leasee resulting from that agents consultation. 

Lease rate: One USD per lease period of 139 days. Paid in full in cash, money order or company check prior to signing and notarization. 

See you on the water!
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Event tides, sep 11 12 13:

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**to learn about how mau mau island works and the requirements for participation, go to the "about page on this site**

THE THREE CHALLENGES....




ONE:   HUMAN SWIMMING RACE           
At the sound of the conch shell, one representative from each delegation will swim the gauntlet from livingroom barge to The dock and return to shotgun a can of upper lower midrange beer at a possibly disagreeable temperature.  


TWO:    IMPROVISED WATERCRAFT REGATTA                       
It is a rare sort of person that stares into the abyss and sails into an unknown horizen to endure conditions and isolation that can drive a person to the brink of insanity.  Nearly one eighth of a mile through the bottleneck clusterfuck of infinite frustration, the beach of peril, and the bird sanctuary of unknown godlesss beasts to retrieve the Greesed Egg and deliver it to "The LIVINGROOM RAFT"


THREE:    PUGIL FIGHTS  (CROUD FAVORITE)            
This is the thing from American Gladiators where they stand on two columns and try to whack each other off with padded sticks.

ALSO FOUR:   PILLAGING!        
Pillaging is an illustrious and ancient marine tradition as old as the waves themselves. In this challenge you will attempt to steal the flags of other micronations while protecting your own. The delegation with the most flags by sundown will be rewarded with wild accolades. lost of your flag? so sorry, disqualified.


Also FIVE:    GENERAL BATTLE           
This should be somewhat self explanatory. 


Also SIX:   NATIONAL COCTAIL
A drinkable cocktail in-keeping with cultural heritage, points for flavor, effort, concept, NAME, presentation and Availability.

Also maybe SEVEN: DEBATE! 
Debate is more formal and civilized interaction where-in two 
delegates attempt to sway one another to their own unique position by competing in shotgunning caned beers or sucking oiled sardines through long glass bubble-tea straws for speed.



THE BATTLE FOR MAU MAU ISLAND is Proudly sponsored by: MYAHUASCA, MADAM BLAVATSKY'S New England CLAM CHOWDER, 1-800HONEYBADGER.COM, CHUD LIGHT "the essence of the underground", THE BILL AND MELINDA GATES FOUNDATION as well as WEAVE IT TO BEAVER merkin extensions "length without limit, those curtains wish they could match this rug" And as always, by the generous support of THE MAMMON GLOBAL HOLDINGS FAMILY OF COMPANIES and participants like YOU.
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***registration***

    MAU MAU PARTICIPANTS, please REGISTER here for event details via email

    BY SUBMITTING THIS FORM YOU ARE TAKING PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOURSELF, YOUR TEAM MATES, YOUR BELONGINGS AND WATERCRAFT AND GARBAGE DURING THIS EVENT. THE BATTLE FOR MAU MAU ISLAND AND ITS ORGANIZERS WILL NOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY OF THE ABOVE.

be the complexity

if your COMING to mau mau, please buy a 2020 MAU MAU STICKER to support event production and encourage your gang members to buy theirs too. thanks

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2020 MAU MAU STICKER

$20.00

Buy this sticker to support event production and tell your soggy friends to get them too.

add to cart
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