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  • 2011 THE BATTLE FOR MAU MAU ISLAND
  • DIY watercraft resource page
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  • volunteer
  • THE ALBATROSS
  • Home
  • About
  • Contact
  • Register upcoming event
  • ART SALON / shop
  • Past Events
  • CONTRIBUTE Art Salon
  • THE brunch FOR MAU MAU ISLAND
  • 2019 The Multi-oceanic Association of Unified Micro-nations and Autonomous Utopias
  • 2018 SUBOPTIMAL
  • 2017 chronostasis
  • 2016 The gate of Agartha
  • 2015 THE MARITIME ACADEMY FOR ULTIMATE MARINE ARTS UNLIMITED
  • 2014 THE RETURN TO MAU MAU ISLAND
  • 2013 MAU MAU ISLAND IS CANCELLED
  • 2012 THE 100 BOATS OF BATTLE ATOLL
  • 2011 THE BATTLE FOR MAU MAU ISLAND
  • DIY watercraft resource page
  • GANG profiles
  • volunteer
  • THE ALBATROSS
THE BATTLE FOR MAU MAU ISLAND

the maritime academy for ultimate
marine arts unlimited 2015

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Image above may not accurately depict our campus

Maritime Academy for Ultimate Marine Arts Unlimited

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YOU HAVE BEEN SELECTED!

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ACT NOW!  OUR EXPERIENCED RESEARCHERS HAVE SELECTED YOU OUT OF MILLIONS OF PROSPECTIVE STUDENTS FOR A CAREER IN THE MARITIME ARTS!  
   In compliance with the ruling of a class action suite we are excited to offer you this life changing opportunity. EARN YOUR CERTIFICATE IN ADVANCED SEAMANSHIP in just 16 hours !!! (usually a five year intensive training), get fast-tracked into the most exiting and fastest growing career market in the world. Set sail on the high seas of opportunity in this TOTALLY FREE, YES THATS RIGHT, TOTALLY FREE ! one day course.  SAT  JULY 25   12:00 - 7:30PM
-No gimmicks
-No hidden fees
-No obligations
-No sudden weight gain

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Ok, lets get serious. This is how You can finally get off that couch and get behind the helm. These are our simple guidelines to help you maximize your training experience. ​

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​You got the FREE course coupon, you got the skill, you got the training...... 

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Now the only question is, are you ready to be a 
winner?

CERTIFICATE AWARD BANQUET GALA EVENT (after party in the flotilla): ***FABULOUS PRIZES***
Honor! Prestige! Respect! Excitement!  and thats just the beginning. If you act now, Your FREE course in Advanced Seamanship will also include invitation to our exclusive award ceremony and gala reception aboard our luxurious floating campus. Once your team has completed the six marine challenges join us for Complimentary beverages (21+) strait from our founders personally selected menu, including "Oyster Drop Gin Express" "bilge bomb boiler maker"  "Wrong Island Ice Tea" "The Jersey City" "Cabin Boys Tears" "Salty sump" "Moonlit Flotsam (not recommended)" "Archibalds masculine virility whoreing tonic"  FOR FULL DRINK MENUE VISIT:  http://goo.gl/9qjxx9

STAY FOR >>>>>  sundown serenadings with "DOLOMITE and VIC THRILL  . 7:20 pm

EXCITING DEVELOPMENT! Our floating campus has recently restored its Mal-concieved and highly dangerous 65 foot water-slide referred to affectionately by our graduates as "The Bowel of Purification" symbolizing the passage through the digestive track of Lord MAMMON. 

ANNOUNCING! We now host  ***bachelor parties****  so please book your special last day as a single in the form below.  ​
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"THE bowel of purification" digestive track of lord mammon, 64 foot water slide  

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Archibald Addison Bishop Stoneleigh with his legal and spiritual advisors 1931
 All site materials copyrighted property of M.A.U.M.A.U The Battle For Mau Mau Island, part of the Mammon Global Holdings family of companies. The submission of the above form entitles the first party (MAUMAU) access to materials services and information belonging to the second party (the submit-tee) . Mau Mau  will gain the life long service of the first born male child of the second party beginning at age 5. Mau Mau will reserve the right to "Prima Nocta" in the event of the marriage of the second party. Mau Mau will gain unrestrained access to the second parties facebook contacts, email contacts location and use of the second parties homestead and automobile, boat, clothes etc. In the event of the demise of the second party Mau mau will seize all viable organs including but not limited to eyes, liver and genitals. The first party will gain access to the personal thoughts and fears of the second party as its sole intellectual property to be sold or bartered on the open market. Thank you for participating, and see you on the water. 
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