KIDNAP YOUR FRIENDS. Gone the Next(™) We provide stylish and upscale abductions for birthday parties, corporate retreats, political summit meetings, or whoever you think deserves it. give your target a kidnapping they'll never forget. 2 TIX, NYC.
SKU:
$195.00
$195.00
Low Rider Demon Patrol offers the following services, from its new startup:
Gone the Next(™) Luxury Abductions
Have you ever said to yourself, "Holy crap, I'd love to kidnap that person! But chloroform is messy, and I lack the proper vehicle!"
Well stop talking to yourself, because Gone the Next(™) Luxury Abductions can give your loved or otherwise one the kidnapping of a lifetime!
Multiple modes of transport, colorful and unpredictable characters, premium compliance-inducing refreshments,* and creative methods of restraint (with commemorative silk blindfold theirs to keep!) will enhance a custom-tailored gauntlet of psychological and physical ordeals, culminating in an interrogation fit for a prince, or heiress, or other HVT!**
At least one moment of concern for one's well-being is guaranteed! And the best part…
the ransom has already been paid!
Does the target need a lesson in morality a la the Ghost of Christmas Future, or perhaps more of a Vincent Price-vs.-Brady Bunch-Hawaiian-cave-scare/romp? The possibilities are endless!***
You can trust Gone the Next(™) Luxury Abductions. We have years of experience in involuntary disappearances, and our regular safety meetings mean more… safety!
We provide stylish and upscale abductions for birthday parties, corporate retreats, political summit meetings, or whoever you think deserves it.
Call Gone the Next(™) Luxury Abductions and give your target a kidnapping they'll never forget -- unless you want them to!(™)
We should judge all art based on its metabolic equivalent
Recombust.com
Blood type 9
* May contain tree nuts
** High Value Target
*** Themes may be limited to clowns, demons, or hobos depending on availability. No guarantees.)
Gone the Next(™) Luxury Abductions
Have you ever said to yourself, "Holy crap, I'd love to kidnap that person! But chloroform is messy, and I lack the proper vehicle!"
Well stop talking to yourself, because Gone the Next(™) Luxury Abductions can give your loved or otherwise one the kidnapping of a lifetime!
Multiple modes of transport, colorful and unpredictable characters, premium compliance-inducing refreshments,* and creative methods of restraint (with commemorative silk blindfold theirs to keep!) will enhance a custom-tailored gauntlet of psychological and physical ordeals, culminating in an interrogation fit for a prince, or heiress, or other HVT!**
At least one moment of concern for one's well-being is guaranteed! And the best part…
the ransom has already been paid!
Does the target need a lesson in morality a la the Ghost of Christmas Future, or perhaps more of a Vincent Price-vs.-Brady Bunch-Hawaiian-cave-scare/romp? The possibilities are endless!***
You can trust Gone the Next(™) Luxury Abductions. We have years of experience in involuntary disappearances, and our regular safety meetings mean more… safety!
We provide stylish and upscale abductions for birthday parties, corporate retreats, political summit meetings, or whoever you think deserves it.
Call Gone the Next(™) Luxury Abductions and give your target a kidnapping they'll never forget -- unless you want them to!(™)
We should judge all art based on its metabolic equivalent
Recombust.com
Blood type 9
* May contain tree nuts
** High Value Target
*** Themes may be limited to clowns, demons, or hobos depending on availability. No guarantees.)
1 available