• Home
  • About
  • Contact
  • Register upcoming event
  • ART SALON / shop
  • Past Events
  • CONTRIBUTE Art Salon
  • THE brunch FOR MAU MAU ISLAND
  • 2019 The Multi-oceanic Association of Unified Micro-nations and Autonomous Utopias
  • 2018 SUBOPTIMAL
  • 2017 chronostasis
  • 2016 The gate of Agartha
  • 2015 THE MARITIME ACADEMY FOR ULTIMATE MARINE ARTS UNLIMITED
  • 2014 THE RETURN TO MAU MAU ISLAND
  • 2013 MAU MAU ISLAND IS CANCELLED
  • 2012 THE 100 BOATS OF BATTLE ATOLL
  • 2011 THE BATTLE FOR MAU MAU ISLAND
  • DIY watercraft resource page
  • GANG profiles
  • volunteer
  • THE ALBATROSS
  • Home
  • About
  • Contact
  • Register upcoming event
  • ART SALON / shop
  • Past Events
  • CONTRIBUTE Art Salon
  • THE brunch FOR MAU MAU ISLAND
  • 2019 The Multi-oceanic Association of Unified Micro-nations and Autonomous Utopias
  • 2018 SUBOPTIMAL
  • 2017 chronostasis
  • 2016 The gate of Agartha
  • 2015 THE MARITIME ACADEMY FOR ULTIMATE MARINE ARTS UNLIMITED
  • 2014 THE RETURN TO MAU MAU ISLAND
  • 2013 MAU MAU ISLAND IS CANCELLED
  • 2012 THE 100 BOATS OF BATTLE ATOLL
  • 2011 THE BATTLE FOR MAU MAU ISLAND
  • DIY watercraft resource page
  • GANG profiles
  • volunteer
  • THE ALBATROSS
THE BATTLE FOR MAU MAU ISLAND

KIDNAP YOUR FRIENDS. Gone the Next(™) We provide stylish and upscale abductions for birthday parties, corporate retreats, political summit meetings, or whoever you think deserves it. give your target a kidnapping they'll never forget. 2 TIX, NYC.

SKU:
$195.00
$195.00
Unavailable
per item
Low Rider Demon Patrol offers the following services, from its new startup:

Gone the Next(™) Luxury Abductions 


Have you ever said to yourself, "Holy crap, I'd love to kidnap that person! But chloroform is messy, and I lack the proper vehicle!"

Well stop talking to yourself, because Gone the Next(™) Luxury Abductions can give your loved or otherwise one the kidnapping of a lifetime! 

Multiple modes of transport, colorful and unpredictable characters, premium compliance-inducing refreshments,* and creative methods of restraint (with commemorative silk blindfold theirs to keep!) will enhance a custom-tailored gauntlet of psychological and physical ordeals, culminating in an interrogation fit for a prince, or heiress, or other HVT!**

At least one moment of concern for one's well-being is guaranteed! And the best part… 
the ransom has already been paid!

Does the target need a lesson in morality a la the Ghost of Christmas Future, or perhaps more of a Vincent Price-vs.-Brady Bunch-Hawaiian-cave-scare/romp? The possibilities are endless!***

You can trust Gone the Next(™) Luxury Abductions. We have years of experience in involuntary disappearances, and our regular safety meetings mean more… safety! 

We provide stylish and upscale abductions for birthday parties, corporate retreats, political summit meetings, or whoever you think deserves it. 

Call Gone the Next(™) Luxury Abductions and give your target a kidnapping they'll never forget -- unless you want them to!(™)

We should judge all art based on its metabolic equivalent
Recombust.com
Blood type 9
​

* May contain tree nuts
** High Value Target
*** Themes may be limited to clowns, demons, or hobos depending on availability. No guarantees.)
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Pinterest
  • Google+
1 available
Add to Cart
EVENT GUIDELINES    CONTACT    REGISTER FOR EVENT
DIY WATERCRAFT RESOURCE PAGE
HALL OF CHAMPIONS   GANG PROFILES
VOLUNTEER
© COPYRIGHT 2015. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.